i’m on tinder i think i hate it
also i saw my ex today
i ran errands with my mom and we had to return something at paramus park
and we were eating and he and his twin walked right passed me
and at first i thought i couldn’t tell them apart any more
but then going down the escalator, jon let his foot stay on the wrong step
idk how to explain it
but it was so him
i’m sure that’s him
but i don’t think they saw me
which is good because i’m crippled now and i feel weird seeing people from my life before i got sick
fuck i don’t know
but today was god awful
and i went with a friend and played music which was good
but i can’t shake this feeling
and it’s fucking bullshit
reactive depression get at me
actually no
get the fuck away from me
fuck
i ended up not using a wheelchair
but now im in so much pain i cant stop crying and can barely type
i am angry at my illness
really fucking angry
4 days ago - 
3
3 So I’m going to palisades mall with my friend tonight but my pain is really bad. And I’ve been dizzy. Etc.
So I think I’m going to try and use a wheel chair.
Any tips for a first time wheelchair user? They’re free and it seems easy enough but I’m anxious.
Crying so flipping hard.
the only thing that could possibly make this show mean more to me than it already did is how serious the cast is taking these farewells
i love them so much JFC
5 days ago - 16
16 1 week ago - 8
8i took soooooo many pictures today! the town was so pretty, the stores were awesome
1 week ago - 1
1
Yarn bombing in Frenchtown. I’d never seen it before!
1 week ago - 15
15So today I went to this town by the Delaware river with my friend Jaime. I’m not up for a full road trip, but it was a long day trip which was great fun. It was an hour and a half drive, just long enough to feel like we were going somewhere.
We had lunch at The National Hotel in Frenchtown, NJ. We split goat cheese and lemon ravioli and lamb sliders. And I had sangra. It was great. Then we had dessert at Lovin Oven, I had key lime pie and sweet tea. I’m exhausted but what a beautiful day, more pictures to come.
1 week ago - 2
2
