i’m all fucked up in my mind

and so is the rest of my family

so when i’m not caught up in being fucked up i’m caught up in guilt and worry over the people i care about

but ya know i’m fucked up enough to stay busy

so

shit

1 week ago
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then pictures of me and my love because i’m attacking my tumblr with a vengeance

2 weeks ago
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i didn’t want to leave

i didn’t want to leave

2 weeks ago
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i collected flowers for another flower crown

i collected flowers for another flower crown

2 weeks ago
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This parade of ex’s is unending

3 weeks ago
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i ALMOST FORGOT

i was going into the office today and i’m in the elevator and a man says to me “you have a cane.”

literally.

so i responded by saying yes. he asked what happened or whatever and i just said i have lupus and other autoimmune diseases and honestly that’s not even the reason necessarily fibro is more the cause but FUCK that guy for asking, that’s my elevator answer

then i’m on my way out

and this guy holds the door for me and i’m several feet away so i start to pick up the pace and he’s like “don’t rush” and then he says my cane and says “GOD especially under the circumstance don’t rush.” like shush

no don’t shush

just shut the fuck up

and shove it

3 weeks ago
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I’m in the middle of a terrible pain flare, I have an awful cold and a pending migraine. So I’m gonna go take a 5 hour bath now.

I’m in the middle of a terrible pain flare, I have an awful cold and a pending migraine. So I’m gonna go take a 5 hour bath now.

4 weeks ago
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VACAY=LOW POSTS

sorry for the low posts lately! i’m visiting family in illinois and don’t have toooo much access to cell service or wifi, at least not consistently. i’ll be back to my normal activity in a couple of weeks :)

1 week ago
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Lobster and blueberries. Not bad Maine

2 weeks ago
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meals from the campgrounds (menu breakdowns in captions)

2 weeks ago
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i went camping for the first time ever and it really was amazing. i had the best fucking time. my vacation buzz is killed and i’m super stressed, but i’ve decided to put my stress in a separate post and focus on the positive. 

i went camping in maine with my boyfriend and three friends. we left friday morning and got back tonight. it was my first time really camping. i did girl scouts lodge camping when i was younger, but i’ve never camped as an adult. plus it wasn’t cabin camping, we set up our own tents and all of that.

our campground was on the shore and our sites had ocean views. the first two nights my SO and I slept w/o the rainfly (with an open tent) so we could see the stars/trees. the last night it rained, but that was okay. 

the first night we got really drunk and i smoked for the first time? first of all it definitely helped my pain… which is sort of frustrating because of course i want it again now but i hate needing substances at all. anyway, it was my bf’s first time smoking too and we were both very inebriated but i kept thinking i want to marry you. thank GOD i didn’t say it. i mean sober now i still sort of feel it. i’m so in love with this man and i want no one else but it’s way too soon. 

generally we would all do something in the morning as a group, and in the afternoons i napped/recovered/regained spoons in my tent. the last day was hard, i felt very sick last night. my chest hurt and i was dizzy and sore. this morning before breakfast i felt like i may pass out, i really felt like that all day. i guess the dizziness never went 100% away. 

but i mainly kept up. everything was beautiful. i want to go camping again. i also spent almost no money which is great because that’s how much money i have. i’ll go into the buzz kills another time. for now, i’ll post some pictures

2 weeks ago
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ABLEISM CONTINUES

Then at the bar the manager asked me what happened to me and when I said he was sick he INSERTED HIMSELF INTO MY MEDICAL LIFE

And told me about his sick mom and told ME TO BE A GOOD PATIENT like fuck that
Don’t tell me shit
You’re a strange man who doesn’t know my name
Get your hands off me and fuck off


Admittedly it’s been a disproportionately ableist day

3 weeks ago
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tw disordered eating/eating disorders

i accidentally let some of my eating disorder posts land on this blog instead of my ED blog. thanks for bringing it to my attention those of you who sent me asks, i’m really really sorry! i really have made an effort and will continue to make an effort to keep this particular blog safe for those in recovery. i feel awful, i’ve deleted the posts and i’ll do my best to keep it from happening again

3 weeks ago
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This 4chan shit, I’m over it. Basically every tag I go through is filled with awful things or irrelevant cute things. Don’t get me wrong, I prefer cute things obviously. And I understand we should flood the tags. But there’s no longer anywhere to have relevant feminist discussion because the tag is filled with kittens. So tumblr isn’t serving it’s purpose at all and I’m annoyed.

3 weeks ago
1 note