i’m all fucked up in my mind
and so is the rest of my family
so when i’m not caught up in being fucked up i’m caught up in guilt and worry over the people i care about
but ya know i’m fucked up enough to stay busy
then pictures of me and my love because i’m attacking my tumblr with a vengeance
i didn’t want to leave
i collected flowers for another flower crown
i ALMOST FORGOT
i was going into the office today and i’m in the elevator and a man says to me “you have a cane.”
so i responded by saying yes. he asked what happened or whatever and i just said i have lupus and other autoimmune diseases and honestly that’s not even the reason necessarily fibro is more the cause but FUCK that guy for asking, that’s my elevator answer
then i’m on my way out
and this guy holds the door for me and i’m several feet away so i start to pick up the pace and he’s like “don’t rush” and then he says my cane and says “GOD especially under the circumstance don’t rush.” like shush
no don’t shush
just shut the fuck up
and shove it
I’m in the middle of a terrible pain flare, I have an awful cold and a pending migraine. So I’m gonna go take a 5 hour bath now.
sorry for the low posts lately! i’m visiting family in illinois and don’t have toooo much access to cell service or wifi, at least not consistently. i’ll be back to my normal activity in a couple of weeks :)
Lobster and blueberries. Not bad Maine
meals from the campgrounds (menu breakdowns in captions)
i went camping for the first time ever and it really was amazing. i had the best fucking time. my vacation buzz is killed and i’m super stressed, but i’ve decided to put my stress in a separate post and focus on the positive.
i went camping in maine with my boyfriend and three friends. we left friday morning and got back tonight. it was my first time really camping. i did girl scouts lodge camping when i was younger, but i’ve never camped as an adult. plus it wasn’t cabin camping, we set up our own tents and all of that.
our campground was on the shore and our sites had ocean views. the first two nights my SO and I slept w/o the rainfly (with an open tent) so we could see the stars/trees. the last night it rained, but that was okay.
the first night we got really drunk and i smoked for the first time? first of all it definitely helped my pain… which is sort of frustrating because of course i want it again now but i hate needing substances at all. anyway, it was my bf’s first time smoking too and we were both very inebriated but i kept thinking i want to marry you. thank GOD i didn’t say it. i mean sober now i still sort of feel it. i’m so in love with this man and i want no one else but it’s way too soon.
generally we would all do something in the morning as a group, and in the afternoons i napped/recovered/regained spoons in my tent. the last day was hard, i felt very sick last night. my chest hurt and i was dizzy and sore. this morning before breakfast i felt like i may pass out, i really felt like that all day. i guess the dizziness never went 100% away.
but i mainly kept up. everything was beautiful. i want to go camping again. i also spent almost no money which is great because that’s how much money i have. i’ll go into the buzz kills another time. for now, i’ll post some pictures
Then at the bar the manager asked me what happened to me and when I said he was sick he INSERTED HIMSELF INTO MY MEDICAL LIFE
And told me about his sick mom and told ME TO BE A GOOD PATIENT like fuck that
Don’t tell me shit
You’re a strange man who doesn’t know my name
Get your hands off me and fuck off
Admittedly it’s been a disproportionately ableist day
tw disordered eating/eating disorders
i accidentally let some of my eating disorder posts land on this blog instead of my ED blog. thanks for bringing it to my attention those of you who sent me asks, i’m really really sorry! i really have made an effort and will continue to make an effort to keep this particular blog safe for those in recovery. i feel awful, i’ve deleted the posts and i’ll do my best to keep it from happening again
This 4chan shit, I’m over it. Basically every tag I go through is filled with awful things or irrelevant cute things. Don’t get me wrong, I prefer cute things obviously. And I understand we should flood the tags. But there’s no longer anywhere to have relevant feminist discussion because the tag is filled with kittens. So tumblr isn’t serving it’s purpose at all and I’m annoyed.